The Joys of Life

5 joyful things today!

1. My dog, my cutest dog. He follows me wherever I go. Sometimes it annoys me, other times it delights me. He cares about me and loves me so much that he follows me wherever I go.
2. Bed bath and beyond. I enjoy looking at nice thing even if I don’t buy anything. When I will be rich… I will get a new set of dishes and more decorative things for my house. The thing is though, I enjoy being a so called “minimialist”. So do I actually want stuff, or do I want just what brings me joy. Whats if stuff bring me joy? How do I know if something new brings me joy, before I brought it home? These are thoughts I ponder. For now, I enjoyed just strolling the store and admiring nice things.
3. Right now, I am sitting at home, dishes washed, listening to music, and inhaling essential oil smells. This is the definition of joy to me.
4. At the pharmacy today, I saw a scrubbing soap which delighted me. Usually being on the cheap side, I didn’t want to buy it at first. However, lately I am learning how to spend more money on myself in regards to luxuries rather than just essentials. I am proud of myself that I was able to do that today.
5. Yoga. Oh the joys of yoga. And the joys of yoga when your pet takes over your mat 😉 nothing like it. Why does yoga connect me so? It just does. That’s the plain and simple truth of it. Yoga is so joyful for me. It can make me dance for years. Come to think of it, I think my body wants some movement now. The joys. The joys of life.

What is joy for you, my friend?

Top 5!

5 Joyous Experiences This Week:

 

1-The weather, oh the weather.

The gorgeous, delightful, and oh so glorious sun.

It makes me smile, and laugh, and just want to run all over.

 

2- Yesterday, I danced in my car. It was those holy beautiful moments

Of pure joy. No care in the world. Especially around those NYC drivers,

Who definitely got no care for you. Ha!

 

3- Today my chickens got excited when I left my house. Let me get to the

Joyous part. You see, they used to get scared of me. They would run away

Every time they heard me coming out. Today they smiled and started running towards

Me! How is that for some joyous moments?

 

4- Last night, through cooking and cleaning and preparing for the holy Sabbath

my body felt tired. It felt tired emotionally after a week of listening to sad stories

Of people of age and people with disabilities. It felt weak of feeling not good enough.

And it felt tired of not belonging. It felt exhausted of not being understood. So my body

Got itself onto a mat. Oh, the joys of yoga. The joys of yoga and the joys of exhaustion tears

Just flying freely. This is my life. And this is my joyous life.

 

5- Oh, and I almost forgot. I’ve never been good at creating different hairstyles. I’ve been

Wearing the same thing for a while now. This week I realized how I can pull my hair back

And show my beautiful face more. It made me happy. And it made me joyous.

 

Here are my top 5. What has brought you joy this week? Leave your likes and comments!

 

Magic Place

Sometimes I believe in a world of magic.

Like a warm city in the midst of the winter?

Ain’t that a world of magic to you?

I watch people running on the beach

And stretching at the shore line.

Children playing with glee

Riding their bikes

And splashing in water.

Daddies holding their child

With ice cream running down their hands.

How is that, for a world of magic?

I don’t see no sadness

And I see no heartbreaks.

I see no problems.

And I don’t see any anguish.

Is life perfect with the sun?

The tears and sobs.

Are they Hiding in the palm trees?

Brokenness and anguish

Does that get

Washed away with the waves?

I’d like to believe

There is a perfect world out there.

I’d like to believe

There is a city in the world

With just joy and hope.

A city sparkling with glee.

An island of happy children.

A place with older people smiling.

A town with beaches.

Bikes.

Ice cream.

Boat rides.

And country music.

This is my magic place.

 

 

 

My Voice

For all those times

You’ve shut me down.

And I couldn’t stand for myself.

Know now.

Know deeply.

That for all those

Lost moments,

They are lost no more.

For every breath;

Every breath of mockery.

For every word

Every word;

Of belittling me.

For every action

Every action;

You’ve taken

To stop me.

Know; know deeply,

That I am back.

The voice in me?

It is In full force now.

Louder than ever.

Clearer than

Anything

You’ve ever listened to before.

It won’t stop.

It is here to stay,

My voice.

My unwavering

Unstoppable

And

Oh how beautiful

Voice.

Birthday Musings

Birthday feelings

And musings.

There they are

The past birthdays

Experiencing their birthday

Today too.

There they are

The birthdays of childhood

Reminiscing freely in adulthood.

There I was

Wanting to be me

And recognized as soul.

Wanting to be me

And recognized as light.

Or even recognized at all.

Birthdays create

A stir of emotions

In me.

Year after year.

 

Today,

Sitting on my yoga mat.

My birthday

Arouses large feelings too.

Feelings of love

And acceptance

And recognition.

And then the sadness

Of bygone birthdays-

Gone unrecognized.

And I sit with them all.

I give each of them

The space they need

And deserve.

The rejections and hurt,

And the love and acceptance.

I can’t be unfaithful

To my past.

I can’t forget

The sad little girl

Lost in a forest of her own.

But, that forest has grown.

It has grown to

Fruits and trees

And dazzling flowers.

Today I embrace the present

Too.

The present moment

Where

The little girl

Creates happiness in her heart.

Forms love in the steps she takes.

Today I accept

The magnificence and love

Which surround

My existence.

Ask Me Who I Am, Go Ahead

Who am I you ask?

I am made from solid rock.

Oh,

And laughter and cries.

I’m made out of shattered glass.

And clay that held me together.

I made of billions of little girls

Of lost bow ties and ribbons.

I’m made of galaxies of tears

Left lonesome in the fields.

I am made of diamonds

Laced all over me.

And gold running out of me.

And blues. And greens.

And yellows. And rust orange.

A kaleidoscope.

Of fine colors.

And then

Not such fine colors.

I am fire.

And earth.

And made of

Truth and lies.

Quiet tones

And then screams

That tore my organs.

I am made of closed doors.

And mute mouths.

Hushed souls.

And silenced brains.

I am made of fierce love

And simple hate.

Illness and power.

I am made of confusion.

 

Ask me again who I am.

Cuz I can talk.

Silence is no golden no more.

Babies can talk.

Warriors can’t be shut down.

Ask me who I am

And I’ll tell you the confusion

That brought me here.

Ask me who I am

And I’ll tell you

The unwavering love I am.

And the tears I embrace.

The warrior bigger than me.

And the hurt that turned to pure gold.

Cuz, I won’t leave-

Fields of uncovered hurt.

And oceans of shied away tears.

I will leave hearts of

Unstoppable trust.

Unmessable love.

And unwavering belief in thyself.

Ask me,

Just ask me who I am.

Dreams- Reality

Dreams

Don’t stay dreams

If we work on achieving them.

At least mine didn’t.

I was lucky

To say the least.

I know I was lucky.

I had people rooting

For me

Without me knowing it.

I have a God that

Does not take eyes

Off my beautiful soul.

I have family that

Would kill to give me bread.

I have and have had

A support system

That has lifted me

From beneath the roots.

As deep down as it goes.

But, before that?

Before I learned

How to accept help,

I was on my own.

I learned how to feed

My body and soul.

I learned how to

Talk to my fragmented heart.

I learned how to stand up

For me and those around me.

I learned how to smile

When I saw a flower,

After my heart

Was kicked around so strongly,

It fell and broke

Everything I built.

So I rebuilt.

From bottom up.

I didn’t give up.

And I dreamed.

I dreamed of the life

I wanted

Beyond locked bars.

I dreamed of

The love I needed

To feel

And the love I needed

To give.

I dreamed of a life

Where I can sing

And dance

Oh,

And skip down the streets.

And I wanted to give up,

Oh how I wanted to give up.

I almost did.

But, then I didn’t.

And that’s what

Built me even stronger.

So, this fierce warrior

You see.

It was built.

Like a palace

Piece by piece.

And it was then demolished.

Like some towers

Thrown in one shot.

But, then

It was rebuilt

Like a palace

Inch by inch.

It got me to paradise.

This work

Got me to paradise.

I am in paradise

 

Because of dreams.

Don’t you even think of.

Don’t you dare,

Give up on your dreams.

I Want To Remember

I want to

Relax.

Like the

Farmers at the

Countryside.

I want to

Feel at peace

Total peace.

Like the birds

Flying in harmony.

I want to

Stand with

Unshakable confidence.

Like the trees

In the wild.

I want to

Understand

My worthiness

Like the water

Gushing onto

Sand.

Running

Without a care

In the world.

I want to believe

In good

And peace

Like the child

I used to be.

I want to

Know

The love

I am.

Like the rain

That expects not

Our love in return.

I want to remember

How to live.

Like

Children.

Who laugh.

And sparkle.

And know.

So deeply know.

That love

And happiness

Is all they are.

I want to remember

That love

And happiness

And peace

Inside me

Can not

Be broken.

I want to remember

The wholeness

Of myself.

 

The Space I Am

I remember them.

Telling me

With innocence

To hide.

To make believe

It doesn’t exist.

My soul.

The magnificence.

My body.

The dazzling beauty.

My heart.

The softness it is.

My eyes.

The songs it sings.

All of who I am.

I remember them

Showing me;

This is the path.

The path of survival.

I remember them

Telling me

How my very being

Takes up

Space

The world,

Cannot hold.

I remember them

Showing me

How to shrink

To a miniature

Size of me.

I remember them

Explaining

How that’s how it’s done.

Exposing

Our magnificence,

Or even admitting to it.

Can make people

Not like us.

Can make the world

Uncomfortable.

And

Can make us

Actually believe in us.

 

All this?

I’m done with it.

I’m done with

Needing to compromise

My soul

To fit others’ egos.

I’m done with

Feeling that it’s a sin

To be.

To just exist.

The act of my existence

Is the greatest miracle.

I’m done with

Shutting down

My miracles.

I’m done with

Making believe

My soul is not

The most beautifully

artistic

Piece of art

I have ever come across.

I’m done with

Not believing in me

In the powers

I have in me.

I’m done.

Done hiding.

Any

And every

Single part of me.

I am pure love.

Pure acceptance.

Pure magic.

This is me.

If I don’t fit in your world

Of ordinary

Make space for me.

I am big.

Beautiful Girl

It doesn’t disappear.

It stays.

And comes

Up again

And again.

And yet again.

And it’s ok.

Because the point

Is not

For a part of me

To disappear.

Even a part

Of me

I don’t love

Every moment;

Yet.

It’s ok.

It’s ok

For the anxiety.

The loneliness.

The scared little girl

To show up.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Because it’s a part of me.

Instead of killing it.

I will love it to death.

Today I choose this.

I choose

This little girl in me.

Because this little

Beautiful girl.

Has taught me more

Than fears

And anxiety.

This little girl

Taught me

How to love so fiercely

Until the fire bursts

The blackness of others.

This little girl

Taught me

How to stand for peace

Until the world

Drops in silence.

This little girl

Taught me

How to see light

Until no darkness

Ever showed its face here.

This little girl

Taught me

To never give up on

 

Magic.

And miracles.

So, no.

I won’t give you up, beautiful.

I will love you to death.

My gorgeous girl.